Paalam - Saying Goodbye

 

Paalam - Saying Goodbye

 Numbers often represent death during the COVID-19 pandemic.

Transparent verifiable disaggregated public health data (including deaths) -inclusive of methodology - is of coursevery important for the ongoing pandemic response and for building healthy and safe societies - including workplaces.

 Listening tohuman storiesmatters too– how people are experiencing and coping withfears of contracting COVID-19, being ill, being hospitalized, in recovery, dealing with medical bills and economic insecurity,in quarantine, providing care or sadly losing someone important to them.

 When a loved one dies apart from you at a distance, it may impact how you grieve that loss. During the pandemic many people have been unable to visit family members before they passed away in hospitals and care homes or attend in-personfunerals and religious gatherings due to quarantines, medical isolation, hospitalization and travel restrictions.

 Families of migrant workers who die overseas and workers, who are unable to return from abroad - share this painful reality.Though being in a different country can present additional difficulties – including the repatriation of remains. This can be particularly stressfulwhen the family wants to respect the explicit wishes of the deceased: Ipangako mo sa akin na luuwi mo Ang asking bangkay sa Pilipinas (Promise me that you are going to bring back my body in the Philippines).

 Bereavement rituals are important – they can be formal like funerals or memorial services or personal – creating your own.When rituals are done to commemorate a loss, they honor both the person who is doing them and the person they’ve lost. The absence of these rites can cause stress.Rituals can be comforting, facilitate the expression of feelings and help us begin to integrate the loss into our lives. As actions they symbolically connect us to something meaningful – that could becan be as ‘act of love’, a way to say goodbye, tied to religious beliefs, a chance to acknowledge, value and respect that person’s life - Dignity in death (and life) matters.

Families of Filipino migrant workers are asking for acknowledgement and understanding of the depth of feeling about their loss.They want practical help and support from governments, health officials,employers and recruitment companies to repatriate the remains of their loved ones back home.

As a group they do not accept that they are “asking the impossible” – they look for positive actions from governments – health and science officials and employers:to be heard with compassion and for a commitment to work together with them to navigate the best possible way to ‘lay to rest’ their daughter, son, mother, father, wife, husband, sister or brother – relative.

 

The families’ determination to bring their deceased family members home is not marked by denial of the challenges this entails during a global public health crisis.They are pragmatic and willing to be patient given the scale of deaths and the extent of the current governmental challenges to respond to the pandemic. The families’ expectations are in line with the continued experience of repatriation of deceased Filipino migrant workers. They are aware there exists established protocols that must be met for safely and sensitively handling and transporting the body of a person who died of an infectious disease, such as COVID-19.

Emotionally sensitive communication that offers clarification and updated information is important to them. A central liaison person/ group would be helpful so they do not have to be sent back and forth between departments/individuals – this is already an exhausting time for them. The families’ wish to be informed andinvolved in any decisions about the remains of their deceased family member, so they can make thebest possible decision under the circumstances.

Nothing can make up for the tragic loss of a loved one – though the families strongly appeal to the governments and people of the countries where their family members lived and contributed - as part of the community - to work hard to do everything possible to provide all necessary assistance to support their wishes.The families look for a humane touch indealing with their loved one -to care about how it impacts their lives -to stand with them in their despair-to help them heal.

The families of Filipino overseas workers, despite the unusual obstacles presented by the pandemic have found a way to come together to: urge governments to act, to listen, share memories and support one another with death. In doing so they have already confirmed to the person they lost that they mattered deeply, are missed and loved.

 

 

Kanlungan offers its deepest sympathy to the families who are grieving